Vocation--as in a job--not a vacation!

Hey Everybody!

It's again been a very long while since I last wrote or kept up with my blog, but it seems to always be good to have something on my mind... for some reason this popped into mind for me, when we were little I am sure all of us at one point or another had this question :

"When you grow up what would you like to be?"

Well, when I was little I guess I didn't know any better and couldn't think of anything and almost always I had a strange answer.

When I got older, at one point I really wanted to act. So in my years at junior high I took drama classes and was for some reason not understanding of even myself (at that age, I was so naive it seems funny looking back at it now, but at one point I thought I could really achieve it.)

Then I realized how bad my memory was. I couldn't remember lines, scripts or anything for too long.

But there was one lasting memory I guess I always will have...and it was the fact that I had will, but no real ability. Almost 10 years later I found it mere child's play. A dream that is not anything real, just a dream.

Today, so many things have changed, I have no need of bright lights, no lines of Shakespeare and things constantly change...Not too long ago I originally had a goal and it was simply to become a social worker (I shouldn't use the word "simply" there is nothing simple about it)
I currently work in the customer service field and I had a discussion with a friend of mine about basically vocation.

Something he said reasonated with me very deeply: "Thomas, you know I just think that if you wanted an honest opinion, you're way too softhearted for that type of a job...I know you didn't plan on being in a company, but who knows? You might really end up working here for life."

He's right about one thing : who knows?

I was onced asked by another good friend of mine: "Thomas do you really see yourself working in a company? Is that really what you see for yourself?"

Well, it's so odd for me to say I don't know. Just because there are all types of things in life that I really don't know about, regardless whether or not God factors into it.

But anyway, my friend taught me quite a bit whenever I talk with him (just by virtue of the fact that he is many years older than I am) It was always fun to talk just because my friend is always down to earth ( he's a very dedicated husband to his wife and father to his kids) it just made me think.

"You know I always worry about my kids, just because you get older, you just don't stop worrying. You know, when you were young there are all though neat toys? My kids always want a new toy, I just brought my little girl a Nintendo DS, and my boy always plays with the Game Boy...after his sister is done playing with it, I think I should get him something new, just so his childhood memory isn't that 'Dad always gets me the hand me downs' And I still worry about putting them through school in a few years. "

So what does all this have to do with vocation?--well, it just made me think of how I lived my life so far, no matter how much I plan, or work towards something life never turns out to be that simple. I found that in my life I was always very serious, no matter where I was (school, friends and work) I always had a bad habit of not relaxing...(of course I don't lose it, or at least I try not to)

Some people know me as a very animated person (and I still am, if albeit in a very different way) if anything my energy is not the same, the past no longer lingers on as much and I think about how unpredictable my life is: sometimes even that makes me shake up a little bit. However, if there is anything this job taught me about life (besides it's unpredictable nature) Is that little by little dreams go away, and reality becomes the one constant, it dictates the rules of the road.

And time I found over the years, does not heal all wounds...but it does become a valuable teacher.

Signing off,

Thomas