Life's little irony

irony‚• noun (pl. ironies) 1 the expression of meaning through the use of language which normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous effect. 2 a state of affairs that appears perversely contrary to what one expects.

ORIGIN Greek eironeia simulated ignorance.

http://www.askoxford.com

According to the Oxford dictionary the word "irony" applies to using language to signify a implied meaning of sorts, stating the opposite of what is truly intended. (Shakespeare uses irony to great effect)

However in this entry I am (no pun intended) thinking of the opposite or more precisely, the second meaning stated in the above definition.

"a state of affairs that appears perversely contrary to what one expects."

I was actually thinking of what to write, and I really wanted to get my thoughts and feelings down and yet I could not think of a way to express it in articulate words. So I'll begin with a story:

Many years ago I was in my late teens when I was given a challenge ( and when I say challenge, I do not mean it as an exaggeration) and no, not to a contest of any sort. Rather I was called to task by my parents. I had two choices: I could either choose to quit right after I finished school (high school) or head to university. I was told that if I choose one over the other there are going to be consequences: but above all else I had to prove to them that an education meant something.

At the time I was both stubborn, angry and felt that it was such an stupid request that I did not think twice and jumped right at the chance. To be honest if I had to do everything all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. As a person life outside of my familiar trappings of home gave me the strength to seek and also gain partial independence.

I truly could not have imagined what I would be doing if I had elected to stay in town. And in my mind the friendships I have gained from just simply being in another town gave me insight. I am not speaking in just the sociological sense, I have grown as a person because of my surroundings ( faith had a much stronger presence and impact in my mind than at any other time) At least faith does not have as much an impact to me at the present time .

My occupation is in the customer service field, and like my friend says: "Welcome to customer service it's NOT glamorous!" I can understand the frustration ( and sometimes joy) of working in the job, I simply realized that I tend to have a sense of relief when I can help solve problems. I was not even interested in the "perks" of the job. (that is to say, I didn't care much for incentives)

One day, I walked into work not thinking much and I had a small chat with a co-worker:

Bob*: "Hey Thomas what do you think(of the job so far)?"

Thomas: "I don't know either which way, couldn't say I like it or hate it. Why?"

Bob: "Thomas you gotta love your job man.."

Thomas: "What? I come into work feeling like a zombie and I couldn't figure out much...sleep is not even a factor."

Bob: " But you did lots right? to get to where you are right at this moment, you finished school right? Aren't you proud to have a job? At least you have one...think of all that you have accomplished...all those years, all that work and it's come down to this(job). "

At that moment I don't know whether to laugh because the mere thought that my job is anything to be "proud" of sounds awfully silly, or whether I should break down and cry because it was sad and seemingly anti-climatic. I have friends at work who undoubtedly have more education and brains but somehow they probably wonder : "How did I get here?"

In my case, I ask myself "What on earth did I do to get here?"

I ask myself this question every single time I am at work, beyond all the time I spent finding a job and between me crashing and burning in more ways than one ( at this rate, I think Johnny Bravo has a better chance at getting a love life than I do.)*

I guess in all my years, I do not consider myself a failure in the general sense, but I can tell you that with some pain that I always seem to fail where it counts. In some ways I think, there are days where no matter how bad things can get, I tend to think that it could always be worse. I have one comfort: I don't see myself in customer service for life. There might be hope for me.


*Bob has his named changed...Johnny Bravo is a cartoon character ( look up Wikipedia)

Signing off,

TKO